Honoring Our Loved Ones This Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is often a time for gratitude, togetherness, and celebration. But for those of us who have lost someone dear, it can also be a time when their absence feels especially profound. The empty seat at the table is a poignant reminder of the love we shared—and the space they still hold in our hearts. Thanksgiving is undoubtedly the hardest for me to get through, sometimes. The last time I heard my mother's voice was on Thanksgiving Day 2015. By the time I got to town she had been put on a ventilator. I didn't get to hear her deep laugh, her signature grunt (when she didn't want to be bothered), see her beautiful smile, or get the latest gossip from her anymore. She quickly began to decline after Thanksgiving.

If you're navigating this holiday while grieving, know that you are not alone. Here are some ways to honor your loved one’s memory while also finding moments of comfort and gratitude:

1. Acknowledge the Loss

It’s okay to feel the waves of sadness that come with missing someone. Give yourself permission to grieve, even amidst the festivities. Also give yourself permission to laugh, dance, and let others love on you. Perhaps you may want to light a candle in honor of your loved one or set aside a moment of silence to reflect on their impact in your life. This can be public or private, but don't deny yourself the opportunity to remember them.

2. Celebrate Their Legacy

Thanksgiving is about connection, and one of the most meaningful ways to stay connected is by celebrating your loved one’s legacy. Keep their memory alive. Share stories, make their favorite dish, play their favorite song. Again, don't deny yourself the opportunity to remember the good times. They are still with you. Spread their love through you. These small acts can bring their spirit closer to the celebration.

3. Create a New Tradition

Sometimes, honoring your loved one can be as simple as starting a tradition in their name. It's OK to do new things, do something that honors their memory. Keep their name and their memory alive. Donate a meal to someone in need, volunteer, or write a letter to your loved one expressing your gratitude for the memories you shared. Invite someone to dinner that doesn't have a family to eat with. It's never too late to start new traditions.

4. Lean on Your Support System

Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to carry it alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a support group to share your feelings. Don't hold it in. Let others know how you’re feeling. It’s okay to say, “This holiday is hard for me,” and invite their comfort and understanding.

5. Find Gratitude in Their Love

Even in loss, there is space for gratitude. You can honor your loved one by focusing on the love they gave you and the lessons they left behind. Reflect on who they were and what they left you. What are you most thankful for about them? How can you carry their spirit forward in your life? During holiday times my sister and I spend a lot of time talking about our parents; their traditions, their holiday shenanigans, and even trying to recreate the meals that they prepared or their cooking rituals.

So, this Thanksgiving, remember that grief is a testament to love—its depth, its power, and its permanence. While your loved one may not be at the table this year, their presence is woven into the fabric of your life, and they will always be a part of your story.

This was our last Thanksgiving together.

I have no idea why she was looking like this...LOL She must have been bored with the conversation.

Look for the SUN. The sun always shines, even when it's raining. Even when it is just barely peeking through, it's there. Invite it in.

Sonya

One of the times we just did something spontaneous.